Losing You
by VulcanCheesecake
Summary: Joker/Jonathan Crane OH NOES! VERY SAD! This was originally for a contest.


"Look. Johnny…I…Oh…"

"What is it Joker? What's wrong?"

"I…uh…the Bat…he knows where we are…saw me…he…we…" The Joker broke off and hung his head. Jonathan Crane took his lover's hand in his own and stroked it. He sighed; he had liked this house.

"It's okay Joker, we'll just move. Again," he couldn't help putting a little note of disapproval on the last word.

"It's not like that. He knows where we are because…I showed him here. I brought him…you were out and I…we…God knows how long I've wanted him…I love you Johnny, I really do, but he…the enemy…the risk" then the Joker laughed. A giggle that echoed from the walls. It was an almost automatic reaction when he didn't know what to say.

"iWait/i. Are you trying to tell me you've cheated on me? The iBat/i was here? You…did things to him on iour/i bed?!" there was a note of poison in Jonathan's voice. The Joker nodded, still laughing insanely. Jonathan dropped the Joker's hand as if it was scalding, and shook his head in disbelief. "You've been with another man. With the iBatman/i on iour/i bed, and now you're ilaughing/i at me?!" The Joker looked up; forced himself to stop the laughter, and let the smile slip from his face. "Yes." He whispered. "I was with the Bat. But it was only lust. Johnny, iPlease!/i You have to believe me. I couldn't stop myself. I love you. I don't want you to go."

"Well, you seem to have been doing exactly as you want. You never ican/i stop yourself can you? Not even with me. You obviously idon't/i love me; I'm just a pretty little fuck on the side you can keep coming back to right? One you don't even have to pay for. How do I know you haven't had other men back here and not admitted it? I bet you tell them all about me! 'Oh yes, my little bitch doesn't even iknow/i about this, he won't want to let go of me, he's stupid enough to believe all my lies, and keeps coming back!'" Jonathan's voice got louder and higher. He shook his head, trying to disguise the fact his eyes were filling with burning tears. "Not any more Joker. Not any more." His tone was resigned now. Jonathan's head fell forward so his chin was almost on his chest, and he closed his clear blue eyes, letting the glittering tears make tracks down his face. His body was numb, and he didn't seem to realise the Joker was still with him. His shoulders shook with silent sobs that he was guilty and ashamed to let take over him.

"Look, Johnny, Jonathan…I'm sorry," The Joker slid an arm around his shoulders and tried to pull Jonathan close.

"iNo!/i No you're not. Get away from me!" Jonathan shrieked shrilly, standing up and walking to the other side of the room. He turned away from the Joker, still aimlessly trying to hide his broken heart, still fighting his tears, pressing his forehead to the window.

The window that was smashed through a minute later, as the Batman kicked Jonathan out of the way with a growl of "Out of the way Crane, you pathetic faggot." The Joker looked up from the book he had been pretending to read when he heard the glass shatter.

"Batsy! You're here!" he cried, angry that he wasn't getting his own way from Jonathan. He planned to get his own back by showing Jonathan again exactly what it was he had done with the Bat.

"Yeah, I'm here. God Joker, you're so damn igood!/i I want you. Again. Forever." Even the Joker was a little taken aback at this. He really did love Jonathan.

"Well…Bats, I hate to tell you but I'm with Johnny. What we had was good, sure, but it was only a fling."

"Don't give me any more of your crap, Joker. I've taken enough already. Jonathan doesn't look very happy, I heard you anyway. He's left you."

"No! Look, Bats, I've said, no!"

"Joker, Please!"

"He said no!" Jonathan's voice was high pitched; he was afraid of Batman. After all, it was he who put Jonathan in Arkham.

The Batman hated Jonathan Crane more than any of the other villains for no good reason. Because Jonathan was pretty, but had nearly no fighting skills. And that he had the Joker, the one thing Bruce Wayne (and Batman) wanted, but couldn't have. Maybe that was why he turned on Jonathan, not thinking, just shoving him against the wall, then pushing him into the patch of glass slivers on the floor, causing him to gain several cuts. Maybe that was why he yanked Jonathan up again, and threw him backwards, out of the second storey empty window frame. The Joker heard the scream all the way down, and the painfully loud crack and thud as Jonathan inevitably hit the floor.

"You bastard!" he screamed at the Batman, thinking of nothing else. "Get out of here! Go away! Now!" The Bat did as he was told, and the Joker ran out of the door, and knelt beside Jonathan. He cradled Jonathan's head in his lap, and took one of Jonathan's hands.

"Oh Johnny. Johnny, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to…I'm such a failure…I really am sorry. For everything. As soon as you're okay again, I'm going to kill that overgrown rat, I swear." The tear tracks on Jonathan's cheeks had still not fully dried, and they shone in the dim light of the street lamps.

"Apology accepted," he sighed, and closed his eyes. "I'm not ever going to ibe/i okay again. I iwas/i a doctor. My back is broken. And I can ifeel/i it. The realisation. I hope this never happens to you."

"Johnny…No…don't…just pretend…for me, please." Jonathan's eyes were still closed, but he grimaced.

"For iyou/i? Everything's for iyou/i. I'm dying Joker. Face it." The Joker stroked Jonathan's hand.

"Okay. I love you. I really do." They stayed together for half an hour, saying nothing, until Jonathan groaned and in a strained whisper said: "I love you too. I swear it, too. You'll be fine." And he stopped breathing.

"No. iNo./i NO!" The Joker scooped Jonathan into his arms again, and held him close until it got light; too numb to do anything but try to cling on to the one thing he really wanted to keep.

When he finally felt able to stand, the Joker called some of his men, and told them to get a vicar, a coffin, a headstone with simply "Jonathan Crane," written on it, and to dig a good grave, on the hill near the house he had lived in with Jonathan the longest. The one he died outside of. Two hours later it was done, and the Joker stood watching as his lover was buried. He felt a terrible finality, a tearing in his heart. Jonathan was really gone. Jonathan, who would always have been there. They'd have been together forever, until they died together of old age. "Old age!" he cried to the sky, sinking to his knees. "This wasn't supposed to happen! Jonathan! Oh Johnny! I need you!" he screeched. He sent the goons away, and stood by Jonathan's grave, tears ruining his makeup for the first time he could remember. "Jonathan," he whispered, remembering how this was his fault. "Oh Johnny, my Johnny."

With all his regrets, the Joker wiped his eyes, and left a face paint handprint on the headstone. He left a piece of himself there, metaphorically. The Joker turned away, and kept walking, away from the house, away from Gotham, collapsing on the steps of Arkham Asylum.

With Jonathan gone, he was resigning.


End file.
